My monster in law just keeps getting worse and worse. She has pulled multiple stunts in her time but I think this latest one qualifies her for handicapped parking. For Dec21's birthday she sent an e-card that said "If I could see you..I'd REALLY tell you happy birthday." Oh please. What's stopping her from coming here?? She has more than enough money, more than enough time and very willing and eager to get on an airplane. All three things I can't say the same about myself. Yet it's OUR fault. For Christmas she sent an actual Christmas card (however she did put the wrong address on the envelope) and gave one thing with it. A gift card to a resturant that's nowhere within 100 miles of here. Now she either did it intentionally or she's just gotten so damn lazy that she didn't even check to see if the resturant was around here. Either way I say BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Dec21 sent it back and he called to tell her about it..did she offer to replace it?? Nope. Did she even apologize?? Ummm NO!!

Oh and she's also saying (not in the exact words) that it's my fault for losing the baby 3 years ago. Wanna know how?? She said I was SOOOO immature that my brain sent off little immaturity chemicals and signals to the baby and killed her. That's her wording. She actually said that!! Now call me crazy..but that sure as hell sounds like she's saying to Dec21 "Your wife killed your child."

She also says EVERYTHING is ALL my fault and if I want to be given a real chance to be treated nicely Dec21 and I BOTH have to go down there and I have to be polite..social and act like a LADY!! I have to PROVE myself worthy of a chance. And yes those were her words and requirements. First of all..I think I should have been given a real chance from the beginning. Also, I think 7 years of putting up with her shit and loving her son unconditonally should have warranted respect..or at least treated like a human being!! But I have to prove myself WORTHY of a chance. What a bunch of shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for being a lady...umm excuse me..but when have I not??? I'm always polite and nice. I've never screwed around, I don't wear revealing clothes, I limit my cussing to minimum and I do everything for that bitch but wipe her ass. I take all her abuse while smiling to her face and continue being nice. Now exactly what else do I have to do??? I swear that woman changes the rules on me every other fucking day and I keep playing her game by her rules and it's still not enough. I keep telling Dec21 that if he and I ever divorced she'd all of a sudden be my best friend.

Hearing all of her NEW requirements I told Dec21 I should go down there in a long dress..covering almost my whole body and driving her crazy by acting like a lady from the 1800's. Give her exactly what she wants. Of course then I'd be accused of being a smart ass bitch...which yeah I am but she wouldn't mean it as a compliment.

It pisses me off that I have to PROVE myself to be given a simple chance. I have been SO damn nice to that woman it's almost embarressing to tell about. I kept going to her for a chance, being so damn nice and literally pleading for her to give me a chance or to at least be nice to me. How pathetic is that?? I would even apologize repeatedly if I thought I had said or done something to offend her. Not that I ever got an apology but I was still putting in 200% effort.

Anyways..that's in the past now. I'm not kissing her ass. Dec21 says I just say whatever comes into my head now and that's the approach I'm going to take with her. If she doesn't like what I say..oh well. I'm not going to be all sweet as candy anymore with her. I'm done kissing her ass. I'll still be nice but I'm not going to go out of my way anymore for her.

Okay on to a happier topic. Christmas was cool..although it seemed as soon as Christmas night came the spirit all around seemed to be diminish. The Christmas lights would soon be coming down, the trees would be thrown out and everyone's sweet and caring spirit that comes at Christmas. It seemed so much darker and colder outside. Now darker nights and buckets of snow will soon be the main attraction outside.

Okay now I'm really going to try to get on a happier topic. I can't really complain on Christmas presents this year. Dec21 and I are good at picking out what the other wants. My parents are pretty good at it too. We spent more money than usual on them. My mother hates to have people spend money on her but she does it for us and we had a more money this year than before so why not?!?!?

Sometimes I wonder if I should just lock this journal. It's not that I want to or I have anything to hide..it's just..I don't know how many people read this journal and if not many are reading it then what's the point of having it public when I can just lock it up..use real names instead of code names and let those few read it who want to?? I've been thinking about it some..I guess I should wait and get some opinions before deciding.

Anyways..it's New Year's Eve tomorrow night. At midnight I'll be dressed in a sexy nightgown over my not so sexy body, with a bottle of Coke in one hand and in my hubby's arms when the ball falls. Not exactly an exciting way to bring in the new year but I like it.