In some ways I hope he finds out what I did so he can see how much I love him and that I was trying to do a good thing for him. On the other hand, I kinda hope he doesn't find out because then he'll be depressed again and probably won't take it. Even though I do kinda miss having the 100 dollars in my savings..I like seeing Jeff happy more.

No one knows what I did and I'm planning on keeping it that way. I hope Jeff doesn't spend this money too quickly. Otherwise I'm going to be rather pissed off. But for some reason, based on his reaction to finding the money and how down he was when he thought he only a little left..I don't think he's going to be as frivilous.

I love Jeff SO much and the reason I did this was a selfless one. I wonder if my doing it in secret makes it more selfless or my kinda wanting it known makes me selfish. Maybe a combination. Or maybe I should just not worry about it and convince myself that it's his money, always was and it's staying that way.

UPDATE: DECEMBER 16, 2004: Me and my big mouth. I confessed to Jeff what I did not long after this entry was put up. He knew I had a secret of some sort and I couldn't really keep it from him and not give hints. He would have seriously wondered. Actually he did wonder. Part of me regrets telling but he did appreciate what I did. So that's definitely good.