Something interesting happened the other night. I was showing my father a banner I had made for this journal. He looked at it and said "Why November9??" I said "Well..remember the baby we lost 2 years ago??" He said "Yes." I said "That's when she was due." Who'd believe it?!?! My father acknowledged our daughter!! FINALLY!! For 2 years he never said a single word about it to me or my husband.

I looked at my husband, made a gesture of shock and whispered that my father actually acknowledged our daughter!! It surprised the hell out of me. Well, my father saw this gesture and asked what it was all about. I told him that for 2 years he never said a single word about my daughter and always left the room, didn't say anything or if he did, he changed the subject when she was brought up. He said "Well...I just assumed you didn't want to talk about it so I never said anything." Okay, I could probably believe that except I've brought it up around him and he ignores it. Does his hearing only work half the time and I just happen to bring up my daughter during the time his hearing isn't working??

Well I explained that I really don't have any problem talking about her. It's when people ignore it and pretend it didn't happen that I get annoyed. He said "Well, I thought it would upset you to talk about it." I said "I'd rather talk about it then have it be ignored." He said "Okay, I'm sorry I didn't know. I am sorry it happened." Now, he probably should have stopped there but he didn't. My father, from the kitchen, with me and my husband in the living room said "So..how far along were you??"

*Sighs*

That's pretty sad isn't it?? My own father didn't know how far along I was. Now he said he didn't think I wanted to talk about it so that's why he didn't ask me before, but my mother knew. Why didn't he ask her?? Wasn't he interested enough to ask her?!?!?!? I think this is a huge insult. It feels like my father didn't even care enough about me or his grandchild to ask how far along I was. Am I wrong to feel this way?? If my daughter lost a child I sure as hell would be asking how far along she was. My father never even cared about the details all this time. So all my father knew or even cared to know was that I was pregnant, I miscarried and that's it. How am I supposed to react to that??