There is one kind of verbal fight you can have that sucks above all others. The kind of fight you have with someone you love. I had the luck (note the sarcasm) to get in one of those tonight.

My husband and I got in a fight tonight that shouldn't have happened. Maybe fight isn't the best word..how about we bickered quite nicely. I can admit I am paranoid every now and then, not too often it gets the better of me. Like if my husband is breathing hard it gets me nervous. When his sinuses act up it causes a sound that's a bit like a wheezing. From what my mother has said that doesn't mean he has a breathing problem because he doesn't have the slightest problem breathing, it just sounds like it. And hearing it gets me worried.

My paranoia getting the better of me caused the fight with my husband. Most of the time he understands that I can't help getting worried and it doesn't upset him. Today though I just had a bad feeling and I couldn't shake it, no matter how hard I tried. So I kept asking questions, asking him if he was sure he was okay, and if he was having problems breathing. My mind 99% of the time knows he's fine but it doesn't stop me from worrying when he has a pain or I hear that noise. It makes sense that his sinuses cause that noise and the fact that he does smoke. Usually when he's asleep is when I hear the noise the most. I asked my mother about it and she said that's when all the drainage from his nose goes into his throat and that's what's making the noise. A couple times when he's awake I've asked him to hold his nose and just breathe out of his mouth and I don't hear it all. I keep taking comfort in the fact that if he had a breathing problem it would be all the time and he would actually have a problem breathing in a way that he would know about. He insists and I believe him that he has never once had even a hint of a problem breathing.

I can say all that and mean it but when I hear the noise, it still scares me sometimes. I'm not sure I can explain it completely. It's like you know in your mind everything is fine, but when you get worried or a bad feeling you just can't stop yourself from worrying or thinking "what if..".

I don't turn into a complete insane person who sits in a corner and mumbles while unable to move or speak right. I just get really nervous, ask a lot of questions and get scared. I can see why it would annoy a few but that's not my intention at all and if I knew how to control it better believe me I would. I don't like being paranoid sometimes. I don't like getting so worried and scared that I start crying.

My husband and I did make up. It took a little while of passing each other in the apartment, exchanging glances and a few quick words but after awhile we did made up. We've never stayed mad at each other for more than a few hours and a majority of our fights don't last more than an hour.

Maybe I sound like a crazy person but so what?? At least I can admit my faults. That's something.

Another fight I had tonight (maybe it's something in the sodas I'm drinking) was with the guy with the ex from hell. I'm wondering if I should just make up nicknames for all these people I talk about and create a cast page. Anyways, this guy seems to always believe he is right and everyone else is wrong. He's convinced that I need help because of my eating habits. I told him I don't eat a whole lot which is true I don't. I don't like eating sometimes and maybe I don't eat a WHOLE lot but I'm just not hungry that often. Well he's convinced I have a serious problem and that I am starving myself. He says I'm going to wind up in the hospital. Yeah right!!

He has also stated he will NOT talk about ANYTHING else but this. He says I need help and will continue this for as long as it takes. I've asked him to drop it, insisting that I am NOT underweight, I don't have an eating disorder and I really don't care to talk about my eating habits and my weight all the time with him. He's also taken it upon himself to use insults. The insults include "You're so delusional." and a few others that make me wonder why I even stay friendly with that guy. I think he is the one who is delusional. I've never seen the guy in person, yet he seems to be SO sure. He says he's talked to so many people he knows and they told him the same thing. Okay, excuse me but I didn't tell him my exact weight nor do I have any intention of it. Only myself and my husband knows my weight and I'd like to keep it that way.

A friend of mine, the one I introduced him to with the idea of maybe them hooking up (just what was I thinking??) went into a chatroom where I had invited him as well and she talked to him. She basically told him he wasn't being a friend and he needed to drop this and be a friend instead of a harassing jerk. He didn't appreciate this and threw a bunch of insults at her so she threw some back. All that resulted from that was them getting into a fight. Here's portions of that conversation. I have to admit she did VERY well and I was laughing several times at the things she said back to him.

Friend: is it your business though?

Jerk: my business?

Jerk: are u a friend?

Friend: yes your business

Friend: as far as i know

Jerk: when someone is hurting themselves, a friend makes it their business !

Friend: you can voice your opinion, and then it's out of your hands

Friend: pushing the issue is going to push her away from you and then what good did

opening your mouth do???? NONE AT ALL

Jerk: oh really? what good did it do if i were to have kept quiet about it?

Jerk: only way she will ever do something is if she gets nagged enough

Friend: i didn't say to keep quiet, now did i? i said you can voice your opinion and that is

all you can do

Friend: all she is going to do if you nag her about it is stick your ass on ignore

Friend: and that isn't going to state your case very well at all!

Jerk: u are some friend not telling her she is wrong

Friend: u are some friend annoying the living shit out of her

Jerk: can you not find ANYTHING else to talk about with her?

Friend: there is plenty....but why bother when she admits she needs certain help and wont

do it?

Jerk: she has a husband, and she has 2 parents, she doesn't need another father OR

husband

Jerk: at least by constantly telling her to seek help, it may one day penetrate

Friend: are you just dense?

Jerk: areu just mean?

Friend: nope, not mean at all

Friend: i wouldn't take that job from you

Jerk: take what from me?

Jerk: speak english!

Friend: good grief

Friend: you said am i just mean.......no, i'm not mean, i wouldn't take that away from you

Friend: i speak english, you need to learn how to UNDERSTAND it

Jerk: so u think i am mean? funny because you do not know how to treat people nor do u

know how to care about someone u consider a true friend

Friend: how would you know? do you know me? no, i think not. i know enough not to

talk a subject to death

Jerk: u know little to nothing and dont see what is staring u in the face: someone u care

about is gonna end up dead at the rate she is going...and your attitude is "ho hum" about

it!

Friend: what the fuck ever

Friend: you twist words better than anyone i have ever met

Jerk: that's some english u have there

Friend: and god forbid anyone disagree with you over anything

Friend: yes, i know, i'm rather proud of it

Jerk: u wanna disagree about something irrelevant? fine! But not when it concerns

someone's health!

Jerk: you have not an ounce of care in your heart

Friend: her health is not your concern!!!!!!! get it through your thick skull

Jerk: some friend u have there november

Friend: you really don't like it when someone says you are wrong do you?

Jerk: so your friend's health doesnt concern u?

Jerk: especially a true close friend?

Friend: yes, but i'm an actual friend....i don't HOUND anyone about things. I state my

opinion, and it's their decision what they do

Friend: she has a husband, he is more than willing and ABLE to take care of her

Friend: but how can u when u said it is NONE of someone's business?

Jerk: or not my "concern"?

Friend: did you or did you not tell her your opinion?

Friend: yes or no

Friend: not a debate

Jerk: did u or did u NOT state it is not someone else's concern what a friend does with his

or her health?

Friend: what i SAID was that you can voice your opinion, but you don't need to shove it

down her throat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jerk: and u ALSO stated very clearly that it is not someone's concern!

Jerk: u cant have it both ways !

Friend: IT IS NOT YOUR concern

Friend: read the sentence

Friend: don't twist the words

Jerk: do u really think u can successfully debate me? u are wrong

Friend: well, first YOU have to have brains enough to debate

Friend: and you don't

Friend: so that's a moot point

Jerk: i was right on when i met u....you are a very inhumane uncaring human being

Friend: thanks for the compliment

Friend: i'm only vicious when provoked

Jerk: someone does something wrong to themselves, and u go charging to the rescue

when all you are doing is causing them to do more harm to themselves

Jerk: very nice friend u are

Friend: you are no different than her mother. you just try to force your opinions

OPINIONS, not FACT> on her

Friend: AND for the record, if she wants my opion, she will ask me for it

Friend: u are not a friend

Friend: nothing close to it

Friend: well, then we have something in common, b/c NEITHER ARE YOU

Jerk: even if that is true....AT LEAST i cared enough to tell her she is doing wrong

Jerk: i cared enough and am worried about her

Jerk: are u? lolol

Jerk: what a joke

Friend: it's lol not lolol geez

Friend: you don't care about her

Friend: you care about yourself

Jerk: if u say so

Friend: get over it

Jerk: i do huh? what am i getting out of telling her this?

Friend: well, i think you think that you are being the "superior" being

Friend: which, you're not btw

Jerk: oh really?

Jerk: that is why i care about her?

Jerk: u are a big hick weirdo

Friend: lol i'm a hick who is from philly originally??? good one

Jerk: u certainly dont have your city smarts

Friend: as to weirdo, yeah i'm weird. weird is a good thing

Friend: you don't have ANY smarts

Friend: so what's your point?

Jerk: weird is not a good thing...it means you think everyone else is wrong

Jerk: excuse me, what do u do for a living again?

Friend: look it up dumbass

Friend: i'm part of the "brains" of a company

Friend: what are you? oh that's right, a gofer for a law firm

Jerk: a gofer huh?

Jerk: u have no idea

Jerk: i would like to see u last thru law school

Jerk: u wouldnt make it past the first month

Friend: oh, i have plenty of ideas, see i actually KNOW how to use my brain

Friend: somehow, i doubt YOU did

Jerk: oh right.....

Jerk: thats why u are the deserted one

Friend: deserted how?

Jerk: thats why i made it thru law school, and got a masters

Friend: prove it

Jerk: no wonder why some guy ditched u

Friend: oh that's right, you CANT

Friend: no guy ditched me

Friend: we broke up and are back together....yeah, he ditched me good

Jerk: sure sure...

Friend: wanna talk to him?

Jerk: goodbye and good riddance

I'm not sure which bugs me more about this. The fact that he was completely wrong in assuming I'm underweight because I know for a fact I'm not or that he won't drop this or that he uses insults in a fight. I hate when people do that. It's like they know they're wrong but can't prove it or they've run out of things to say to try and prove their point so they sink to the level of name calling and insults.

I should put this guy on ignore and I'm strongly considering it. I think I'll wait to see how he acts tomorrow. If he keeps this up, then the ignore button will be pushed.