Who chooses how you refer to your grandparents?? You hear parents refer to their own parents to their children as "grandma and grandpa" or "granny" or something. Some kids make up their own names. Some grandparents have a preference and encourage the kids to use what they prefer. But..what do you call a step-grandmother whose been your step-grandmother since the moment you were born??

That question used to be easy for me to answer. She was always called by her name. No one ever told me to call her "grandma" or any of those other names. She never implied what she preferred either. So for all the years of my life she was referred to by her name. No one questioned it or found it strange.

Well...today I got a card from her. She sends me a Valentine's card every year for as long as I can remember. It was always a granddaughter themed card. Each card and all other cards I received from her was signed "Love You, (her name)". Well with this one she did something she never did before. She signed it "Your Grandmother". She's NEVER once called herself my grandmother and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Biologically I had a grandmother on my mother's side. Technically I didn't because she died before I was born.

Part of me is upset by this woman calling herself my grandmother. I do care a lot about her, in fact I love her as a grandmother. I just don't think of her as my grandmother. My grandmother and this woman were always two separate women with two seperate titles.

Am I wrong for being upset with her for signing a card "your grandmother". Maybe if she had been doing it my whole life it would be different. I also don't see why the sudden change. Part of me wishes she had asked if I minded her doing it. I can't talk to her about it. This woman has been so good to me, how do I tell her that it upset me the way she signed that card??

There isn't anything wrong with her and like I said I really care about her. But in some ways I feel like she crossed a line that should not have been crossed. Am I wrong to feel this way?? This woman isn't my grandmother and in some ways I feel it's disrespectful to my real grandmother. It's like she's trying to take a title that isn't hers and I don't want her to have. I feel bad for feeling this way but I can't help it. She's NOT my grandmother. It's as simple as that. No matter how much I care about her, and she cares about me, or how much we do for each other that fact will never change. Am I ungrateful for feeling this way??