I really can't figure her out and I'm beginning to wonder if she can be figured out. I can't win with her. I do things one way, she gets upset, I do things another way, she gets more upset, I try things her way, and I still don't win. Just what is the answer??

Almost 5 years ago we thought I might be pregnant. We told my mother. Now granted I wasn't sure what kind of reaction to expect. The reaction I did get wasn't very encouraging. She sulked, she cried, she asked "How could you do this to me??" Oh gee mom I don't know..I guess I just woke up one morning and said "Hey, what's the best way to get my mother upset and throwing a guilt trip in our direction?? I know!! Let's tell her I could be pregnant!! Yeah even though I am married, I am legally an adult, but let's see if she can have a reaction similar to a mother who just found out her 16 year old unmarried catholic daughter is pregnant!!" As it turned out I wasn't pregnant which thrilled my mother.

Two and a half years ago my mother didn't get her way. I was without a doubt pregnant. We lost the baby which pleased her. Her reaction to finding out was angry, yelling, saying that we were just trying to upset her because we KNEW she didn't want us having a baby. She was also angry, and still is that she wasn't told until after we were losing the baby. I could KINDA see her point there but hey..look at what we had in our memory of the last time she found out reasonably early. She says the baby we lost doesn't mean anything to her because she wasn't told soon enough. Yeah okay..sure..whatever..forget the fact that it was YOUR granddaughter!! It's not like we disappeared for 4 months, came back and said "Hey we were going to have a baby, but we've lost the baby so there..can you pass the potatoes??" She saw us just about every day. Her parents had a baby YEARS before she was born that was stillborn and she refers to that baby as her sister. So let's see a baby that was stillborn years before my mother was born is a sister, but a granddaughter that was conceived and sorta around for 4 months is nothing. Someone explain that to me..I need help with that. I guess in my mother's eyes, a baby has to be born before it counts as anything other than an inanimate object that she'd rather not know exists.

Anyways..that wound already has enough salt on it to stock a resturant. Right now I am currently 5 days late from getting that time of the month. The time of month where I can't have sex and I can complain about cramps that guys have no clue about. I stopped taking birth control pills about a month ago..dec21 and I had sex on 2 of the 3 days they say is the best chance to get pregnant and we didn't use any protection. I have also been naseious a couple times a day lately. Now I don't know if I'm pregnant or not..I would say it's 50/50.

Well being the idiot I apparently am..I confide in my mother. She didn't like not knowing soon enough last time so I told her tonight. This is about as close to the EARLY STAGES as possible without calling her right after dec21 and I had sex and saying "Hey mom, we just had sex and didn't use protection, I might get pregnant from it, just thought I'd let you know..I'm going to go enjoy the afterglow..bye."

In other words, without getting graphic, I was giving her what she wanted...which was to be told early. Her reaction?? Oh she fussed, she said if I was pregnant I'd have to go out and get a real job (web design doesn't count in her opinion) and work 20 hours a day. Yeah good idea while pregnant. She said "If you took the pills every single day like you were supposed to then you have nothing to worry about but if you didn't, then you're in trouble." Oh really?? What are you going to do?? Spank me?!?!? I told her I didn't think it was a huge chance to which she replied "Good then stop tormenting me." Oh can you just feel the warmth and bonding between a mother and her maybe pregnant daughter??

So let's see..we don't tell her..she gets upset that she wasn't told sooner..then we do tell her sooner and she gets upset and says I'm tormenting her for no reason when it's just a chance. So how do I win?? She gets upset either way. She said she wouldn't have been all that upset 2 years ago if we had told her sooner..and look what happens when she finds out sooner?!?! She still gets upset!! So what is it she wants?? Maybe when I am definitly pregnant, whether it's now or later, and wait until the baby is born and call her up and say "Hey mom, guess what??" Or maybe we should just not have kids..now that would make her day. I realize that's a mean thing to say but it must be true. She finds out that she may be a grandmother to be and her response is to stop tormenting her. I asked her if she would disown me if I was pregnant. She said no. Well good because sorry mom..we're going to have kids, you're going to be a grandmother..now you can either live with it or disown me. Now..if I could just say that out loud to her.