Well color me feeling like a huge idiot and wishing I could redo the conversation. I made up a flimsy excuse, saying their voices all sound alike (which they do) and that I was busy cooking something and couldn't hear completely right. It was better than saying I was an idiot. I guess I could have said it had been so long since I heard her voice that I didn't recognize it, although that would have taken us back to when am I going to visit her. A question I didn't want to answer.

Just before she hung up I told her to tell her husband we were praying for her. That felt strange to say. Mostly because I don't pray on a regular basis and because I'm sorta not sure what I believe in when it comes to religion and God. Growing up I was always told what to believe and that it was the only way to believe. I have since learned better. I believe God exists..well..actually I WANT to believe God exists. This all started when my daughter died. I don't understand why God allowed me to get pregnant and carry my baby girl for 4 months just so he could take her away from me. I think that's mostly why I'm having problems believing now.

Anyways, this sister of my father's is not exactly very high up on my list of favorite people. But she is somewhere in the middle of which of my father's sisters I like. The woman always seems stuck up. Maybe I'm wrong but that's how she appears to me. At our (husband and mine of course) wedding she took back a present she was going to give us because it was just like another present we had already opened. She claimed she'd replace it. That was five years ago..we have yet to see a replacement. I wonder whatever happened to the thing she did buy.

I have reasons for liking her..(although none seem to be coming to me at the moment) and I have reasons for not liking her (those come to me real quick). The wedding thing is minimum compared to the other things. For example my parents and I would sometimes go to her house on holidays for a couple hours. She always bought things for her grandchildren, like easter baskets, candy, presents and didn't for me. I was just her neice I guess. My mother said I got plenty at home so it didn't matter. Yeah sure mom, that really matters to a child when all the other kids gets presents and candy in front of him/her and he/she doesn't.

Another reason I'm not too fond of her is that she doesn't put flowers on my grandparents's (my father's and her parents) grave. She puts them on her in-laws grave. The thing that bothers me about it is that she lives just a block away and if you can put flowers on your in-laws' graves why not on your own parents??

But anyways..I'll digress for now. They think my uncle will be okay. He's a nice guy. For some reason one of the things that sticks out most about him is when I got a Jenga game (with all the blocks that you take one out and try not to make it fall) and we took it over to their house and he claimed he could make an exact duplicate of it out of wood. Maybe he could have...if he had tried which he didn't. He has a good sense of humor and likes kidding around with people. I think I actually like him more than I do his wife.

Call me crazy but this kinda has me a bit scared. Ten years ago this month my oldest friend's father had a heart attack and then died two months later. I'm sensing deja'vu here and I don't like it.