Show of hands of those who think I am an idiot:

*raising my hand*

I swear it seems like I can do 6 months of perfect no real worrying or panic attacks and then bam I have one..and everyone gets on me for it. Well Jeff didn't..but my mom turned it into a nice laughing and bitching session. Great..just great.

*Sighs*

I should just stop letting myself go and be calm and cool all the time. Whenever I'm not worrying about anything and not on standby alert something happens that sends me into a full blown panic attack. It's like I'm being told "Just relax and enjoy life..oh wait not that much..come back here."

Anxiety disorders suck!! Especially when they're used for punchlines by my mother and I have no control over any of it.