He said that unlike the first baby he actually kinda cares about this one we just lost a few months ago. He also said he resented the first one because of everything the baby would change in our lives. Like having to get jobs, not being able to go wherever we want whenever we want and stay up any hours we want.

Now I'm torn here. I mean I'm actually glad he feels something for this second baby but at the same time I can't help but feel sad and angry that the one I carried for 4 months he feels resentment towards and isn't upset that she died. He said he didn't have time to worry and resent this one.

I still can't help but wonder if this is how he feels about having a baby and when I'm pregnant..should we have a baby at all?? As much as I want one..I want Jeff more and I had to go thru those 4 months pretty much on my own. Only a few people actually knew about the baby at the time and none of them were really supportive and it's own father pretty much acted like I didn't exist and that I had just trapped him and ruined his life.

I don't know..is having a baby worth the risks of Jeff hating it and me going thru another pregnancy alone and getting mad at him for his noninvolvment and the problems it COULD cause??