Lately I'm just not in the greatest of moods. With all that I mentioned and just feeling depressed in general. The other night on the way back from the wake my father kept saying I was quiet..that it wasn't "like me"..hahahaha. If he only knew that sometimes that is exactly me. He accused me of going to sleep. He said "I know exactly what you're doing..you're going to sleep back there." Yeah dad..when I'm quiet it always means I'm going to sleep.

I thought about writing in here about the wake and the details about when Doug died but quite frankly I don't feel like it. I guess I could do a quick summary. He was getting worse..he went into a coma at 7am on April 1st..died at 10:15am and Hope and Rhonda basically fell apart. Great day to die on..NOT!! Then and only then did most of his relatives and hers decide to pile in to the house and wake like they were so devastated. Although I will admit they did put together a huge grief buffet which would probably mostly go to waste. They also sent a total of about 5,000 dollars worth of flowers that would be dead in a week. You gotta wonder if they did all that to show love and grief or to ease their conscience for not doing shit when he was alive and needed them when it could have actually done some good.

Cody is still hounding me for the password to this. I wish he'd give it up. The boy doesn't even write in his own journal anymore yet he expects me to let him into mine. He's as pussy whipped to Chelsea as the day is long..so if he reads it, no doubt she'll squirm her way into getting into it too. So forget that. He's also begging me to talk and let things off my chest. He went on and on about that for 20 minutes last night. The temptation to tell him to shut the hell up increased with every sentence. You know, I do like Cody most of the time but DAMN...he just won't let up sometimes:

BABYburnzz016: man what i woudlnt give for the password to your journal

BABYburnzz016: i wish i could help u out some how

November009: ok

BABYburnzz016: all u have t o do is talk

Sometimes talking to him is like getting a piece of food stuck right between your teeth and no matter how hard you try or what you do to get it out..you can't!!