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Why Am I Not Getting Sex??

Saturday, Jul. 17, 2004 - 2:12 a.m.

I need to talk more about the no sex issue. It is literally depressing me like crazy. Jeff used to be so into me and granted we weren't like rabbits but we at least had sex 99% of the time on a 2-3 times a week basis.

I remember when going a week used to upset me. Now it's been more like 2-3 months!! Lately I have to keep asking him if he wants to have sex..or rather try to..he'll mostly say no..every now and then he'll say yes (he hasn't made the first move in so long..long before I was able to buy alcohol legally I think) and then he won't be able to keep an errection around me or won't be able to get hard to begin with.

Now normally I would be worried about something wrong. But considering he has noooooo (and I mean none..zilch..zero) problem jerking off whenever he wants to, there obviously isn't something wrong with him. I know it's nothing wrong with me. Well not something that a doctor can fix.

I'll admit I've gained a bit of weight since we got married..okay a lot of weight. But still..he says he's still attracted to me and that I'm not fat and I still look good. Then what the fuck is it?!?!?!

We'll start kissing and feeling each other..sometimes he won't get hard. It's like his dick is detached from his body. Sometimes he'll get hard then as soon as he gets on top of me to have sex...poof....down like a pile of bricks. It's like it got popped with a pin and is not deflating. The last time he came with me was so long ago that I am sure the sperm has since died and desenigrated into nothingess. In fact..I think it was still Spring. Actually I KNOW it was still Spring..I think I was still 24 believe it or not.

I think I may have figured it out. It doesn't make me look too good but hey..guess what..neither is that!!

Here's what our desktop looks like:

Now if he's jerking off to girls like that and is looking at her while he's on the computer for hours at a time..how in the world can I compete?? How can my so unsupermodel fat body compete with this anorexic looking hot body supermodel..(I shouldn't say it but)..bitch. Of course he's not going to want to fuck me. Who would want to fuck me when they can jerk off to girls like that?? Also...he knows it upsets me to see that girl up there. He got it from site and he's had it up before and I've told him it upsets me a bit. Not that he looks at her or anything like that but it's a reminder that I don't look like that. He took it down and what do you know?? It's baaack!! And I have to look at it too!! I should take it down and put up a picture of a guy with big muscles and a perfect tan. Wouldn't do any good..he'd replace it with this skinny bimbo or some other bimbo.

Jeff insists there's nothing wrong with me..it's not me..it's him. Hard to believe that when he can jerk off no problem but his dick turns to mush and he rarely makes any attempt to really kiss me or touch me unless I start it. When getting online and writing and reading sex stories for hours at a time with next to no human contact is more appealing to him than spending time with me and maybe kissing and cuddling.

*Sighs*

My self esteem is going down...again. :(( Believe it or not I don't blame Jeff for this. I blame my ugly body and all the skinny bimbos in the world who make having a good body look so damn easy. :((


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