MICHAEL JACKSON: This guy is a visual aid for why I think people should be required to get licensed before having kids. All this guy needed to have kids was sperm, money and a woman dumb enough to supply the egg and her body for 9 months. Anyone who can dangle a child over a balcony, especially their own child..doesn't deserve anywhere near human beings.

Theme Songs: Baby Let Me Follow You Down, Something To Talk About, I Need A Woman, Here's Your Sign.

SADAAM HUSSEIN: Does he have weapons or doesn't he?? Are the weapons here or there?? Will the inspectors find anything there or maybe here?? Are there this many weapons or that many?? Does Sadaam even know?? Is Sadaam working with Bin Laden?? Does Sadaam have a fully functioning brain?? Who gives a damn to all of the above is what I say..just bomb his ass and get it over with for crying out loud.

Theme Songs: I Fought The Law, Bad To The Bone, Nutcase.

GEORGE W. BUSH: I have to admit..if I knew then what I know now..I would have voted for Bush. He's doing the best job he can and he's not just kicking back and waiting for the next attack to happen. The democrats are still trying to find dirt on him. Give it up already you dumocrats..Bush is so well liked in this country and has such a high approval rating, you could find a picture of him doing the conga in the nude while at a whore house and the country would still stand by him. The democrats are coming off as petty sore losers while Bush is looking better and better.

Theme Songs: I Won't Back Down, Because We Can, We're Not Going To Take It, All My Friends Crush You.

STROM THURMOND: Sorry but this guy is 100 years old and he needs to get out of the senate..NOW!! Did God forget about him?? My mother said last night while seeing him on tv that he looked like he died 2 years ago and didn't lie down. Well...maybe.

Theme Songs: I Forgot More Than You'll Ever Know, Superman Theme,

OSAMA BIN LADEN: Anyone have any ideas as to why this guy is still out there?? Is this guy even alive?? Quite frankly I think this guy was killed several times. It's just that before 9/11 he became half cat and now has 9 lives. Yeah that's a bullshit assumption..but can you think of a better one??

Theme Songs: Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Born To Run, I Don't Wanna Wait, Somewhere Out There, Short Dick Man (I'm assuming), I Get Around, Everyday Is A Winding Road.

WHITNEY HOUSTON: Okay, she's admitted her past drug problems..congrats..now what?? Are we supposed to give her a medal for admitting she did drugs while taking care of her daughter?? I don't THINK so!!

Theme Songs: Here's Your Sign, I'm A Bitch I'm A Lover, Twist & Shout, Freak Of The Week.

JENNIFER LOPEZ: 2 husbands, singing career, acting career, fashion career..umm let's see what else?? Should we add "hoping to dominate the world" to her resume?? This woman is SO overrated. Who gives a damn if she gets engaged?? With her track record all it means is that the relationship she's currently in will be over within a year. What is the fascination with this woman?? She's NOT that pretty, she's not a very good actress, and from what I've heard she's very stuck up. So what's the attraction?? Is it the hideous and revealing clothes??

Theme Songs: I Want It All, Love Stinks, This Will Be, An Everlasting Love (Yeah right..sorry I saw that title and I had to put it in there for a laugh).