I'm sure my mother is thrilled that I'm not pregnant. My husband is okay with it. He wants to have kids but he wants to wait until after we have a bigger place and I'm off the paxil to start trying again. As for me..I was really hoping I was pregnant. I know it makes the most sense to wait..but damn it I don't want to wait. For some reason I thought I really was pregnant and finding out I'm not, not only depresses me but makes me feel like an idiot. I should have known better. Of course going off birth control pills will make me late. Of course I might feel a little sick every now and then although it did feel a bit like morning sickness that I definitely had while pregnant. But I'm not an expert on pregnancy so why would I think I actually know enough about to be able to tell with a 100% certainty.

Yes I know I sound depressed and in a bad mood..and it's because I am. It's upsetting as hell to be SO close to having a baby then having that sweet baby you've carried for 4 months and spent your life wanting just die without ever knowing why, and never getting to see her, then find out you SHOULD wait until you find and get a bigger place, you get off paxil, you have MORE insurance, and MORE money before you can have another baby. Hasn't anyone noticed that unless you are a millionaire, you will NEVER have more than enough money all at once, and be completely ready while you are still in a childbearing age??