Maybe I should back up.

My adopted grandmother had many brothers and sisters. In general I got along with them. One of her brothers has the same birthday as me only he's exactly 50 years older than me. I used to consider that kinda neat..now the thought of having something in common with the man, repulses me. I got along with him very well in fact until he decided to guilt trip my adopted grandmother into giving him power of attorney over her. He pulled the "You don't want to be a burden now do you??" speech and she went along with it. The woman had a heart of gold and couldn't bare the thought of being a nuisance to anyone. He also made sure to do this while my mother wasn't at home so she could stop it. My adopted grandmother and my mother were like mother and daughter. My mother always took care of my adopted grandmother when she got sick, hurt, or needed surgery.

When my adopted grandmother was dying, my mother, father, husband and me all took care of her. Her idiot brother came over a couple times mostly just to make it appear that he was the doting brother. During one visit he took my adopted grandmother's money from her house. My mother (who had moved in with her) told him that she needed it to pay for her medicine. His response was "If you need any money for her medicine just let me know and I'll bring you some." He also said he was worried about it laying around with people coming in and out. Yeah you never know, someone who CLAIMS to care might just come in and snatch it..wait a minute..that's what you did, you jerk!!

Once my adopted grandmother died, he wasted no time in making some money. He also somehow had managed to get power of attorney over one of their sisters who was suffering from Alzheimers and living in a nursing home. Well he decided that he would have an auction two weeks after my adopted grandmother's death. He wanted to sell all her things and their sister's things and she was still alive. He also CONVIENTLY had it on the day of my parents' anniversary..hmm..makes you wonder huh?? During this auction he sold all kinds of things. He sold things that my mother had made for them, he sold their knicknacks, furntiure..he even tried to sell their cats!! One of the items he put up was a blanket their mother had made. One of the other sisters expressed an interest in having it..his response was "You want it?? Bid on it!!" What a sleeze. Not long afterwards he sold my adopted grandmother's trailer and rented their sister's house.

Now their sister wasn't all there to begin with. She could also be quite annoying but most of the time she wasn't too bad. She was unbelievably devoted and spoiled to her second husband who died in 1995. When he died she moved in with my adopted grandmother. It wasn't a big move really..she was only about 10 feet from her and about the same from us. When she went into a nursing home she was still doing reasonably okay. Then I suppose the idiot brother from hell wanted to save some money, so she was moved to a nursing home that even the rats probably passed on residing at.

I tried to visit her sometimes. Each time I visited her she wasn't quite the same as before. Her memory was fading fast but she was still there and with help she could remember things. It was easy to tell she wasn't all there, although come to think of it she never really was. She wasn't the smartest person in the world but definitly not the dumbest. Once when she was younger, she got freaked out when she started growing hair somewhere. She thought it wasn't supposed to be there so she shaved it off. I still don't know to this day if she ever realized that was supposed to happen. She wanted me to teach the cat I had for 14 and a half years to call her and husband "aunt & uncle". After her husband died, I offered to put together her Christmas cards. I did my adopted grandmother's for several years and I didn't mind doing a few more. Although this woman wanted me to sign it with her name and her husband's name who had died. I was like "Umm.." She wanted to give the illusion in the cards that he was still alive I suppose. My mother forbid me from doing it and told me to tell her if she wanted his name on it she'd have to do it. This was all done before she got Alzheimer's.

Well I find out today that not only has she died..but that she died almost a week ago!! Not one of her relatives decided to pick up a phone and spend 2 seconds and tell us. That really annoys me. My adopted grandmother, her sister and her husband were like family. We had them over for Thanksgiving. We all exchanged Christmas presents every year. How dare that bastard brother of theirs not even call us. We had a right to know. We're not blood related but we were certaintly there for them more often than that jerk whom unfortunately has the same birthday as I do. My mother took care of all three of them when they got sick. Whenever something was wrong they'd call my mother and she'd go help, day or night. We had a right to know and at least be given the opportunity to go to her funeral. I shouldn't be too surprised but I am. I actually expected better from this guy..my stupidty right?? Now this woman's house is going to be sold to the person whose been renting it the last couple years who just happens to be very close to the jack ass brother.

Can you tell I'm pissed off??

I know I can't dwell on it too much but damn it I'm pissed off!! That man cares about nothing but himself and the money he can get his pocket. I know I should concentrate on the memories I had with her. But the memories just remind me how much things have changed since I was a child. Although one memory I will always have and smile when I think about it. I'm not sure how old I was. Somewhere between 4-5 and my mother and I were at my adopted grandmother's trailer. Her sister and her husband were there as well. Well I have NO idea why I asked this but just out of the blue I looked at them and said "Do you see each other's naked bodies??" They got a kick out of it..my mother on the other hand was horrified and ordered me to go home. I was then told to call and apologize. I did as requested and I could hear her laugh and say that I was apologizing and that she was sure my mother put me up to it. She forgave me reasonably quick..actually I don't think she did forgive me because it really didn't bother her. Although I did get reminded of it several times more while growing up.

I have yet to cry over finding out about her death. I'm wondering why I haven't. Maybe I'm in shock or maybe I'm not sure if I would be crying over losing more parts of the childhood I took for granted so many times while growing up. Perhaps with her having Alzheimers, and slowly fading away over the last 5 years and being unresponsive the last few months made it so the woman was already gone to me.

Is it bad that I haven't cried?? Is it bad that I'm not completely sure what I'd be crying about??