Now for an update on everything.

My father is trying to become a college basketball referee. He's been going to basketball camps trying to show off to the scouts that he can do it. Meanwhile waiting to find out if he's gotten in it has been driving the rest of us crazy. He's been getting bossy and demanding. He never says "please" or asks anymore. It's always "Do this NOW" Maybe I should tell him that I'm 23 YEARS old not 23 months old. He ordered me to write him an e-mail while we were at their house and I was playing with a cat. He was like "I said RIGHT NOW!!" Never asked, never said please. Meanwhile he writes 4 words and that's it. He couldn't do that himself?? I asked him later on why he didn't ask my husband to do it since my husband was right near the computer. My father said "Well he was on the computer and I didn't want to bother him." Yeah sure dad..bother me instead.

My mother is working a lot still. It's funny, she complains about work yet will work on some of her days off. Why?? Because she goes stir crazy. Meanwhile she drives the rest of us crazy.

My husband is getting more obsessed with a tv show called "Farscape". I've seen bits and pieces of the show and it's not bad I guess. I've seen better and I've seen worse. Although I have to admit I am curious about what's going to happen to the love story currently going on in the show.

Now as for me..well..I've still got the anxiety disorder. Some days are fine, some aren't so fine. I still get nervous, but not as bad. Mostly I'm in this depression that a doctor and a counselor have both diagnosed. Goody goody. The neon pink paxil has been switched to a neon lime green paxil. The pink were prettier I think. The neon lime pills looks like a suppository for Kermit The Frog. Speaking of the counselor we went last week. The doctor recommended going to help control the anxiety disorder. The counselor is okay. She has an unpronouncable last name and I don't think I'm supposed to call her by her first name so I guess I should just say "Hey you".

I went back to the doctor earlier this month and I have to go again next month. It seems a bit silly to me. She wants to know if she needs to lower or raise the paxil dosage and see how it's doing. Here's the silly part. We go there, pay 20 dollars, sit in the waiting room, get my stats checked, then go back in the waiting room, go in a back room, wait for the doctor to come in, she talks for a few, she asks some questions and that's it. It sounds like the same thing the counselor does huh?? I have managed to get out of being weighed at the doctor's office. I told the nurse that I doubt my weight changed much and the only thing that weighing me would do is depress me so what was the point?? I bet she doesn't get told that too often. I'm not sure what my weight is but I know those scales at doctors' offices CANNOT be trusted.

I really should find a way to set this to list the older entries automaticly. I'd like to be able to go back to where all I had to do was write an entry and diaryland did the rest. Oh well, I'm sure people who read this will probably try to tell me how to do it and I think I already know how. I just don't want to spend the time to do it. Yeah I know, lazy huh?? Oh well..I'm allowed to be sometimes.

Now I know I must be crazy. I'm listening to the William Tell Overture and not having a sudden urge to turn it off. It feels like I'm in a race to write this with that music playing. This music is so corny. Listening to this makes me think of the "Brady Bunch" episode when they go to an amusement park and Jan's poster gets mixed up with Mike's designs and the whole clan have to race around the park to get the designs back to Mike. This song is playing and Jan runs with it shaking it and has a dumb grin on her face. Yeah good job Jan..you're REAL clever.

Boy do I sound like a bitch in this entry. Oh well, I don't give a damn. I have an anxiety disorder, I'm in a depression and I'm not in the best of moods and this is my damn journal so there. No one is forcing you to read this. If you don't like it, well go see if you can catch the "Brady Bunch" on tv and you can sit there and listen to helium induced happy saps.

Not every entry from now on will be like this. I'm just really not in a good mood. Not sure why..wait a minute yeah I do..I have an anxiety disorder, I'm in a depression, aboutme.com is a pain in the ass, my mother is trying to control me, right down to what clothes I wear, my hair looks like hell, I look fat, (whether I am or not is up for debate) my father is being a bossy overdemanding asshole, my nails are too short, I'm missing the baby, and my animals that died, it's that time of the month and I want a damn cigarette but I can't have one because we're at my parents' house and my mother doesn't know I have a cigarette every once in a blue moon, and not to mention I'm not doing well in this game on yahoo. Anyone know where there's a wall I can hit that won't hit back??

Anyways hopefully I'll be writing entries daily, hopefully more than once a day.