Warning: Long entry

I try very hard to update in this journal as much as possible. I've now missed 3 days this month. I have good excuses each time. Like on April 2nd I just couldn't bring myself to write an entry. It was the anniversary of my adopted grandmother's death but I made up for that with a super long entry all about her the next day. Then on April 9th, I had clicked "Add An Entry" but I got writer's block and I couldn't think about what to write about. I had a few ideas but neither of them at the time would last long enough for an entry worth reading. Later on though after April 10th had started I thought of what to write about but by then it was too late to count for the 9th so I thought I'd just write it as a later entry. Then yesterday came and well...the servers on here were down. By the time they were back up I was chatting, dealing with a computer that was working overtime on being a pain and trying to put a code in for a diaryring I just got approved for. So now I'm going to make up for it by writing several entries today. Starting with an update of what's going on with everyone here.

I usually tell everything going on with me in here but there are a couple things I haven't mentioned. Such as I have set a goal. I'm going to watch every movie we have on DVD in alphabetical order and do it by my birthday.

I think I can do it. My birthday is just over 2 weeks away but I watched 3 movies last night. I watched "Basic Instinct", "The Big Chill" and "The Blair Witch Project". I'm watching "A Christmas Story" right now. If I can't do it, oh well, but I'm going to try.

My sleeping schedule is still off and it bothers me but not as much as it did last time. I don't even try to sleep at a normal time anymore. I am sleeping more than I was a week ago though but I'm not falling asleep until most people are getting ready for lunch. My mother called wanting us to meet her and my father at a resturant for lunch. He had something to tell us. She called at about 2 something and at this point I was going on 2-3 hours of sleep. I faked being awake pretty well. We had told my mother we had eaten a bit for lunch because she usually lectures if we don't eat enough in her opinion. I had a salad, chicken strips and fries. The chicken strips weren't that good and because I didn't eat much of them my mother concluded I was full from eating earlier. She has a high opinion of this resturant and since we had told her we had eaten some what was I to say??

We went home and I went back to sleep a little while later. So I figure today I've gotten a total of about 5 hours I think. I should be tired don't you think??

My husband is half ass using the filters to help him quit smoking and that annoys me a bit. I want him to quit smoking and he keeps assuring me he will quit. I told him when he was 32 that he already spent 16 years not smoking, then spent another 16 smoking, how about he do another 16 years of not smoking?? Needless to say he didn't do it.

He's wanting to visit his mother before she moves. She's moving in a few weeks and as bad as this will sound I am glad she's moving but I don't want to visit her before she moves. Each day that passes that my husband doesn't mention us going up there I can't help but be a bit glad. I know he loves her, and he should, but I really don't want to go up there. I get so nervous. The way she looks at me and how she ignores me. I constantly wonder what she's thinking when I'm nearby. Not to mention everytime we go up there she wants my husband to go for a ride with her, ALONE. My husband says she just likes going for a ride. Personally I wonder if it's not just an attempt to say whatever bad things she's thinking about me to him. My husband says they used to go for rides all the time before he and I met and driving is one of her favorite past times. I still feel uneasy about it sometimes, especially what I hear she says from him.

I know for a fact my mother in law doesn't consider me part of her family at all. I thought she did but then when her and my father in law broke up she told my husband about it(and yes we were married at the time) and then said "Don't tell (my name) because this is a family matter." Not to mention the 5 and a half years of unpleasant comments, moments of her ignoring me, and her flat out implying to my husband that I faked my pregnancy and miscarriage has pretty much convinced me the woman does not like me. Even my husband agrees with me on this!! So other than the fact that my husband loves his mother and that like it or not they do share DNA, what other reason is there that I should want to see this woman??

As mean as this will sound but I don't have much of an update on my mother. She's still working at her job full of nagging, whinny bitches. You know the type. Ones who don't want to do their job, and try to get others to do it then yell at those people saying they aren't doing their job right and thinks they have it easier than them. Why is it those type of people always seem to get hired everywhere?? Do they put on this great personality, hard working act at the interviews that the interviewer feels that they would be crazy not to hire them?? I often wonder.

Well my father is officially a bus driver now. That was the news he had for us at the resturant today. He took his test yesterday but he failed..badly!! This place told him while training him that he should NEVER back up no matter what while in a bus. First thing they ask him yesterday was to back up thru an obstacle course. When I heard they told him to do that, my first thought was that this had to have been a trick question. But it wasn't, and he didn't do too well at it. He also failed on a few other things. But today he passed!!

My father tried to act cool at first at the resturant but by the end of the meal he was grinning from ear to ear giving us a full account of what happened and all the compliments he got during his test. His first shift is next Friday night at 9:45pm. It seems kind of late to me but what do I know??

I felt really bad for him when he failed yesterday. One reason was that I knew how much it meant to him and if he didn't pass today he wouldn't have been able to try again for at least a year. Another reason was that I felt guilty. When my father said he wanted to be a bus driver I didn't think he could do it. My father isn't the best driver and he doesn't learn things fast. We still have to tell him how to do things on the computer and they've had computers since 1993. I felt like I wasn't a good daughter because I didn't believe in him enough that I thought he could do it. I love my father very much and I respect him as a person but I just didn't think he could make it as a bus driver. I kept encouraging him all the time though but deep down I was thinking that he couldn't do it. I wonder if I should feel too guilty considering my father never really encouraged me at anything and if he believed in me he never said so.

Tonight my father informed us that he signed up for a driving defensive class. No problem right?? Except for the fact that he's taking the class on my birthday. He'll be there 8am-5pm. My father said "But I'll be out of there by 5." I was thinking "Yeah but you'll be in class longer than what will be left after you get out of it." My husband and I usually spend a few hours of our birthdays together, just the two of us and the rest with my parents.

He said he would take another day if it's offered but he didn't know if it would be offered. Yeah sure, that class will ONLY be offered ONE time and that's it!! NEVER AGAIN!! Yeah sure. I'm not going to hold my breath that he'll get another day for it. My father has missed some of my birthdays before. A few times I had to have my birthdays several days, up to a week in advance just so my father could be there for them. He'd want to go out of town to nascar races and such on my birthdays. I kind of liked being able to celebrate my birthday early but then it made the day of my real birthday not feel very special. Does that make sense??

Well that's a not so short update on my parents, my husband and me. It's amazing how I usually don't intend for a lot of these entries to get as long as they do but they wind up getting that long. Oh well.